Is it lack of motivation?
Is it fear?
Or, is it just time to take a break?
For the past week or so, I’ve been experiencing what I’ll call a Crisis of Runner’s Faith. I finished Star Wars Half and the next day I started to wonder why I am doing this. Why have I been putting my body (and mind) through this? What am I trying to accomplish?
The only race I have planned as of right now is my first marathon on May 29. That’s about 4 months from now and it seems both so close and so far away at the same time. I’ve been trying to think about the reasons for taking on my first marathon. And of course, while I am thinking about it the fears come up and my crazy mind takes over.
Can I do it? Can I handle the training? Will I ever qualify for Boston?
Seriously, my mind has been running rampant.
Of course, I have a lot of other things going on in my personal life. I’ve been hit by a bit of a rough patch, and I’m just trying to keep in mind that this may be affecting my runner’s faith. Plus, returning to winter running after a nice break in California certainly has had an effect on my seasonal affective disorder. At this time I need to remind myself that other things are going on and that running is actually good for me. Running keeps me sane. Running helps with my anxiety. These kinds of benefits are important to my life. So, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to quit.
No, I know I don’t want to quit.
But even though I know I don’t want to quit, I still need to find ways to remind myself of why I am doing this running thing. I need to remember how it helps with my depression and anxiety. I need to read and see inspiring stories. I need to know that I can overcome these obstacles both in running and in life. Sure, I need to live in the here and now, but I also need to look ahead and realize that this current rough patch isn’t forever. I need to remember that I can get through this.
Side note: Having awesome support all around me helps a lot, that’s for sure! Plus, watching inspirational Ironman videos like this one and this one. Or, this Xterra Championship video here. Plus many many more if you go down the YouTube rabbit hole. 🙂
Have you ever experienced a crisis of runner’s / triathlete’s / swimmer’s / fitness faith? How did you bounce back?