In this time of transition from moving to a new city and searching for employment, I have a lot of extra time on my hands. Of course, I use a lot of it to job search, but also time gets “wasted” thinking. Lots and lots of thinking. Positive thinking? Not always. Not as much as I would like recently.
The trouble with this free time while searching for work, is that if I don’t get any calls for a day or 2, the thoughts start to go to the darker side. Why does this happen? Is it just natural or am I prone to pessimism? It’s partially natural, but it’s also due to the true fact of doubting myself when I shouldn’t. Self doubt creeps up into my thoughts without me even realizing it until I’m ready to throw the phone away or go for a nap to quiet my mind.
In general, I think I’m a pretty awesome person. No, I’m not being conceited, I’m saying that I have confidence and believe in myself 90% of the time. Why not 100%? I’m not sure. I can’t explain it, but I know I’d like to close that gap sooner than later. Will I ever be able to squash those negative thoughts? Probably not completely, because even in the toughest of times sometimes we just can’t help it. We look at ourselves as the problem because we need something/someone to blame for adversity or misfortune. But, we shouldn’t be blaming… we should be learning. Seeing the learning opportunities in life’s events helps us to keep that little bit of positivity in us and move forward. If it is something you did, forgive yourself and move on. If it was someone else, forgive them (or forget them) and move on. Let it go. That’s the only way to truly progress and stop beating on yourself for whatever happened.
So, that’s what I’m working on now. Letting go of the situation that got me here. Letting go of blaming myself because that’s the past and I can’t do anything to change it now. It is what it is. This isn’t easy, but I know it has to be done. I have to move on and regain faith in myself. Time to stop saying things to myself that I wouldn’t say to others. I know I’ll feel much better for it!
Are you playing the blame game with yourself? How do you move on and forgive yourself?