Almost 2 weeks ago (wow time flies!) my beautiful friend Thais G contributed a wonderful guest post to my little blog here about change and handling it gracefully. We’ve both been going through a lot of change lately and while I can’t speak for her right now, things are slowing down a little on my end as I attempt to settle in to my new city/life.
Over a month ago I was sort of forced into making a decision about my next move in life. I wasn’t happy about it at the time, but I am starting to feel better even though I get momentary lapses of anxiety every now and then. After a couple days of mourning, I tried my best to clear my head and think about my next move. Shortly after, I decided to pack/sell my apartment and move across the country to Toronto to stay with my partner while he is still here for school. Crazy move? Maybe. Have I lived here before? Yep. Best career move? Probably not. But I really had to do what my heart was feeling right at the time. My heart was telling me that this was the best thing that I could do after my forced decision and recent discovery of less than optimal health.
I took 3 weeks to sell, pack, and donate my apartment which wasn’t easy and now I’ve been here for a week trying my best to settle in. I have lived in Toronto before, but only for 7 months, so this time around I have come here with a different perspective. I was so serious before and everything that happened to me was so dramatic, this time I am just trying to go with the flow and see what happens. Yes, I worry about finances and careers goals like anyone else, but I am trying to give myself a break from the freak outs about the future this time around. Sure, I’m not even sure ‘what I want to do with my life’, so hopefully this little break will provide some insight or open my mind to something new. Living in the now is very difficult for me… I am known for living in the past or focusing too much on the future, it’s a condition really. But, I really have to try my best to live in this moment and feel what I am feeling now so that I can give my heart/head a break from all those ruminations. I deserve that.
I’m not sure what’s next and I am trying to keep this open mind as I search for a new job and community to build my life around for now. I’m even trying my best to focus my job search on positions I wouldn’t normally apply for to give myself a change that I may really need. Since my passion isn’t being cooped up in an office for 40+ hours a week, it’s time to search for opportunities that are different – keep the mind open! So, here’s to the next chapter in my journey book – hoping for the best in work and play (I’m closer to wineries, so that could help!). : ) ॐ