Meant to do something better, but what?

Ever feel like you were meant to do something better? But, also a little lost as to what that is at times?

I posed these questions on twitter last night and only received a few responses in return.  So, either 99% of the people out there have it all figured out OR most don’t want to have to admit that they don’t.  Trust me, I understand.  It’s hard to admit to others (especially family) that you don’t know (or remember) what your dreams are… that you’re a little bit lost and still need to figure it out – in your early 30s.  Sometimes the impression I get is less than positive, I can always read a face that is thinking ‘how do you not know by now?!”  On the other hand, I have also encountered positive and encouraging responses to my journey.  Occasionally, I will meet someone older who feels relieved that I speak so openly about the subject, believing that they were alone in their feelings of being lost.

At this point, it may seem strange to you that I feel like I am meant for something better even though I am not too sure what that is yet.  But, that feeling is inside my heart and mind all of the time.  I feel like I am supposed to contribute more both career and life-wise.  Inside my heart I know that I could be part of something bigger and definitely have the skills to offer, but it can be difficult

Where does the journey lead to?

to convince others of this with just a 2 page resume.  There are also times, on this roller coaster of life, that I need reminding that there is more to me than what I am doing now – we all need a boost sometimes!  I do so much research and reading that I can feel motivated in one breath and then uninspired in the next.  This may just happen to me, but damn it can be challenging!  So many things have to be done to keep my mind on the path, one of them being yoga.  Yoga gives me such a nice break in my day and can boost me up, I really should be making more time for it.

I’m really trying to explore and brainstorm ideas right now with the help of a career search book that has exercises to work on.  No major discoveries yet, but many pages in my notebook are filled… I am hoping to find some commonality in there somewhere.  I have realized that I need to uncover/re-discover my dreams and also my values.  Somewhere along the way, those got lost since I graduated university and had such big dreams of changing the HR world (some soul-crushing bosses may have gotten to me there).  I really need to bring these things to the forefront of my mind, so that I can start to piece together what kind of career I am actually looking for – while keeping in mind that too much thinking can be bad and may also lead to that evil thing called rumination.  Ruminating = bad… very bad.  This is a road to avoid at all costs in a journey like this, because it does not lead anywhere good.

Shoot… I got side-tracked by some photos a friend posted on Facebook and now I am ruminating. What did I just write, self?  I don’t listen well.  Which leads me to my next thought… ever feel like life is just passing you by?  Like you’re just a spectator watching everyone else lead the lives they want?  Yeah.  That’s me right now.  ॐ

Tell me what you think readers!

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11 thoughts on “Meant to do something better, but what?

  1. 30 is the new 20! Don’t sweat it, do what makes you happy and maybe you’ll get your a ha! moment. Or maybe you’ll never get an a ha! moment, but if you are happy (a conscious choice) , at least you can say you had a happy life and mean it. ox

    • Haha I’ve heard this ’30 is the new 20′ thing… I guess I need to feel like it too! Yes, I am definitely trying to work towards happy, always a work in progress!

  2. Wow. I feel the same way right now. My youngest child will be starting school in September, and I’m grasping at what I should be doing beyond “being mom”. It’s mentally exhausting.
    I wish you success on your journey 🙂

  3. I’m right there with you. I can’t deny feeling like I’m meant for something else, something more fulfulling, more meaningful – something bigger. But I’m a thinker, an analyzer. I’m not a dreamer or a “lover of life”. I can’t just drop everything and “become” something or someone else. In between the occasional meltdown (“I have to change my life NOW”) I try to focus on my yoga. I think a lot about gratitude and how lucky I am to have my family, my health, a job, lovely shelter, and local, sustainable food. That usually shuts me up. 😉 At least for a while…

    • Yes, we do sound a lot alike! I don’t feel like a ‘lover of life’ right now myself, which can be hard to admit to people – you should see the looks I get. But, I am trying, not sure what else I can do! I also cannot drop everything and do what I feel like doing (teach yoga on a beach!), as much as I wish I could. I certainly have to work on the gratitude thing and putting things into a positive perspective so I don’t fully crash… I read this today, which opened my eyes a little bit: http://www.juicygeniuses.com/gratitude/gratitude-is-sexy

  4. I ask myself this question on a daily basis I feel. I’m in college right now for what I feel should be the path I should be on, but there are other things in the universe calling to me and I’m not sure what to do. I feel that what I’m going to school for (music education) is what I’m supposed to do, but I feel that is only a small part of my purpose. I try not to worry too much though. I just focus on being myself, connecting with others, and trust that I am being led in the right direction :]

  5. That’s a great way to be! Being yourself and connecting with others is so important in this world now, especially with all the fake-ness to it. Keep it up and let’s hope we are on the right path 🙂

  6. Oh sweet Crystal.. How I felt your pain about 5-7 years ago! I think it’ s totally natural to question what you are going to do and to not have 100% confidence in where you are. It took me a LONG time to find my gig, to find my voice and find what made me happy. I dabbled in a lot, succeeded in some and gave up on others. I wanted to feel passionate about something rather than just have a job.

    Eventually some of the fuzziness of the ideas went away and I had clarity about what was the right fit. Time and trying lots of different things helps. Also letting go of the need for everything to be “the thing” for you and just to find kernels of learning in each endeavor. eventually these steps will point you in the direction you are meant to go. I promise!

    hugs

    • Yes! Thank you 🙂 I also want to feel passionate about something, like I am part of some thing good. I have dabbled in many things and pretty much know more about what I don’t want than what I do, funny how that works out! And good point about trying to let go of the need for everything to be “the thing” for me… I’m going to work on that, I think it’s key for sure. ❤

  7. i identify with this. 🙂 movers, shakers, and drivers, we are. but you’re staying true to yourself (by listening to the inside), rather than flinging yourself into what you believe you’re “supposed” to do. that’s a win. that’s your path. 😉

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