Yes, I’m lost…

“Lost is just another word for exploring.” ~ Sandy Gingras from Lessons of a Turtle (The Little Book of Life)

Some people know what they want to do with their lives.  Others don’t.

Which group do you think I’m a card-carrying member of?

That’s right.  I have no idea what I want to do “when I grow up”.  No freaking clue.  A couple years ago I thought I had it figured out, but nope… no I did not.  I’m back to square one.  Back on the ol’ career soul searching train, and well, I would finally like to reach my destination.

I am continuously amazed at those individuals who’ve known what they wanted to do since their childhood or teenage years.  I must have changed my mind a thousand times when I was younger!  Some of the ‘dreams’ I remember having include singer, teacher, oceanographer, sports store owner – where’s the connections between those?  And, how do they connect now?  Obviously, being a singer is out though. 😉 (plus, you don’t want to hear the list of ideas over the past year, oh boy!)

Honestly, I usually feel quite envious of those who seem to have it all figured out.  They knew what they wanted, went to school for it, and now work in that field… and usually love what they’re doing!  I ask myself “why not me?!”… why am I so lost?  It really is interesting how some just know and others do not.

If you’re wondering, yes, I’ve taken some tests (Myers-Briggs, Strong Interest) and had meetings with a career counsellor during university, which was incredibly interesting but not really clarifying.  Over the years I’ve also tried jobs in different fields in an attempt for clarity, but to no avail.  I’m not sure what else I can do, but I do know that I need an open and free mind.  Getting angry and frustrated about it certainly won’t help, but sometimes I battle with these emotions.  Like anyone else, I’d like to have this figured out… I’d like to get on my path now, please.  I’d like to attain some of my goals – a major one being travel – sooner than never.  I’d also like it to be in a career that feels even mildly rewarding, as just any old job won’t do… no one likes being drained of life due to work.

One thing I do know is that being involved in yoga and the community creates a warm feeling inside of me.  Spending time with (or reading the blogs of) helpful and knowledgeable yogis causes me to feel the desire to achieve and thrive in this world.  It makes me want to learn more and allows me to feel part of something.  Too bad I couldn’t be surrounded by this all of the time.  I need a way to take this feeling with me wherever I go – how do I keep this in my heart so the drive to continue striving is strong?  I know it’s in there somewhere…  ॐ

Do you have it all figured out career-wise, readers?  How did you just know?

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6 thoughts on “Yes, I’m lost…

  1. Would it help at all if someone told you that you don’t *have* to figure it out? I’m convinced that some people are not designed to be laser-focused, heat-seeking, missiles of single purpose. I would count myself among those ranks.

    I fretted for a good, long time about not knowing “what I wanted to do when I grow up.” As soon as I accepted that:
    a) I don’t need to grow up,
    b) I don’t have to be one of the people with a single, crystal-clear purpose, and
    c) That it’s not a bad thing,
    the gnawing stopped.

    Give it a shot. Try letting go of the notion that you actually must choose something to be passionate about, and you may find that the lack of pressure to do so allows you the emotional freedom to actually experience it!

  2. I also don’t think we are supposed to have just one career for our lives that we chose in high school or college like it used to be. I’ve gone thru many transformations myself – both personal and career – and still feel like I’m trying to figure it out. As long as each job/career/opportunity you choose fits with your values and sense of who you are (at that time) you are on the right path. Life is a journey – not a destination.

  3. it may seem that those people who have known what they wanted to do their entire lives are happy but i am sure they have just as much doubt as the next person. and how about those people that spent so much $$ and time to a career and now they absolutely hate it? the grass is always greener love so do not waste time comparing. everyone has their own journey and this one is yours – take, grasp it and GO with it. its a fun ride i promise =D

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