I hate running.
There I said it. (Ok, so I’ve said and thought it many times, but this time I wrote it out loud… so to speak.)
Every time I go for a run, whether it’s outside or on a treadmill, I just can’t stop thinking about how much I don’t enjoy the activity.
So, why do I do it? It’s not about exercise to me, as there are many other activities I could be doing to stay active. The thing is, is that I am trying to make myself like this activity, even though in my mind I simply don’t and never have. I’m the kind of gal who likes low impact activities, such as yoga (of course!), biking, walking, and curling – and I am starting to realize that this is ok! I don’t have to love running just because others do and I certainly don’t have to run a marathon just to feel part of something. I’m running a 5k at the end of this month and through my training I’ve decided that this distance is good for me. It’s taken me quite some thought to get to this point, but as a result of some reflection I’ve also realized that this running situation is a metaphor for other things in my life.
In my personal life I am also trying to force myself to like things for some unknown reasons (or, perhaps deep down they are known, but not obvious to me yet). I’m trying to make myself like certain jobs or places to live, even though my gut still knows this is wrong.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Why bother to force ourselves to like jobs, cities, people, etc. that we know in our hearts we don’t care for? What purpose does it serve? I’m trying to figure this out for myself right now, but it’s a slow process. Are there others I am trying to keep happy? Why would I neglect myself? So many questions and no clear answers readers!
I know it’s all part of the process, and yes, I would like answers sooner than later but at least some of these realizations are coming to me. I know that I want change, but as I may have mentioned before, I’ve lost what I really wanted in the past few years. I’ve sort of followed others’ dreams and forgot my own – not a good place to be in, trust me!
So, here I am, lost in this world and seeking answers – thank you in advance for reading along the ride! 🙂 ॐ
Have you ever been a little (or a lot) lost, looking to be found? What sort of strategies help you?